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Bill Clinton Opens Balloon & Party Company, Leaves Campaign Trail

July 29th, 2016

PHILADELPHIA, PA – In a rather bizarre move former President Bill Clinton has left the campaign trail to focus on a new hobby he declares “Wickedly fun!”.

Early Friday morning a massive man hunt was underway to find the missing former President following the Democratic Convention. “Hillary’s speech ended and we didn’t see him after he left the stage with about 10 balloons.” Said Campaign Aide John Higguns.

Luckily the Secret Service was able to locate Bill early Friday morning at the site of his new store in downtown Washington DC, rightly named “Big Bills Big Balloons and More”.

“I’ve found my real passion in life. Balloons! Everything else can wait, I have to live out my passion.” Bill stated at a press conference Friday afternoon.

“I’ve seen small boring balloons before, but I’ve never seen balloons this big. Whoever invented them is a genius.” He continued. “Being President was fine, but if I would have found out how cool balloons were I would have impeached myself!” Clinton exclaimed.

As to when he will be returning to the campaign trail, staff have no idea. They are certain of one thing though, if Hillary is elected the White House will have a balloon room.

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