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Chipotle Mexican Food

Chipotle Moving Into The Area Allows People To See How Disgusting Their Friends Really Are

March 26th, 2017

PERU, IL – With the recent announcement of a Chipotle Mexican Grill moving into the city of Peru, citizens are worried that going out to eat at the popular chain restaurant will expose them for how disturbingly disgusting they really are.

The Cob interviewed two friends Saturday, Tami Smith and Tara Higgs, both from Peru, as they revealed their concerns over the chains planned opening.

“I’ve been to Chipotle with her [Tara] and it is not a pretty sight.” Tami told The Cob. “When they ask her if she wants sour cream, she yells at them, What kind of question is that? and then tells them to stop when she tells them to stop.”

“It’s a rather gross experience overall, people stuffing their faces full of packed burritos and guacamole dip. Is there no shame anymore?” Tami concluded.

As Illinois Valley citizens worry, local research groups have come up with a name for this type of syndrome, calling it the “Chipotle Effect”.

“Basically what happens is that people start to see different sides of people they thought they knew well and relationships start to go down hill. It’s a very real concern.” An U of I social studies major told The Cob.

The Cob advises everyone to enjoy responsibly.

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