Dad Lessons: Finding The Right Time To Tell Your Kids You’ve Lied To Them Their Entire Life About Santa
UNITED STATES – Finding the right time to tell your children you are a horrible liar can be tough, but these easy steps can help make the transition from “Santa is cheap!” to “My Dad is cheap!” as simple as possible.
First, if you’ve built a reputation up as being liar this job is much easier, your kids probably don’t believe in Santa anyway. So you are ahead of the game.
Second, blame your wife. She put you up to the lies with all her Christmas spirit and decorations…it is her fault after all.
Third, bribery, give them a $20. They’ll forget how much of a jerk face you are for lying to them all their life.
Fourth, call them a baby. Only babies believe in Santa Claus.
Fifth, change religions. You are now Jewish. Santa doesn’t deliver to Jewish kids.
If all else fails, just tell your kids, “If this is the worst thing that happens to you in life, then you’re getting off pretty damn easy.”
Follow these simple steps to break that hard news to your children this holiday season.