Early Season Blizzard Set to Hit Northern Illinois – Illinois Valley In Crosshairs
CHICAGO, IL – A very rare and huge snow storm is expected to impact the Illinois Valley this week leading to over a foot of snow.
Previously unheard of for this time of year, officials are calling for residents to start purchasing their milk and toilet paper.
“Wipe well, this is going to be a long event.” Todd Jim, the local weatherman told The Cob Sunday morning.
“We got people ready for this event and we really hope everyone reads this announcement,” Jim concluded.
The Weather Service recommends people walk into their local grocery store and declare, “Holy ballz! It’s going to snow then stock up on food while looking paranoid.”
The Cob recommends you pass this on to only your most gullible friends.