Groundhog Prediction In Question After Punxsutawney Phil Busted For Doping
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PENNSYLVANIA – After a near perfect prediction of six more weeks of winter, Punxsutawney Phil, America’s favorite groundhog was caught injecting steroids into his left hog thigh late Thursday morning.
“He seemed a little more feisty today.” Phil’s handler told The Cob, “But I would have never guessed he uses performance-enhancing drugs.”
By Thursday afternoon event organizers were scrambling to find a replacement rodent or animal to confirm Phil’s first prediction, amid fears that Phil would be seen as a cheater.
As Thursday evening rolled around Phil himself released a statement concerning the alleged substance abuse.
“My life has been a culmination of training and hard work, all leading up to this event. In my attempts to be a better predictor, I brought shame upon my family and myself. This has been a regretful day.” Stated the furry Groundhog.
As far as the prediction, most weathermen say he has a 50/50 shot at being correct.