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Storm Damage Gawker

Group Of Storm Damage Gawkers Now Accepting New Entrants To Clog Streets

March 5th, 2017

OTTAWA, IL – Anyone seeking application to become a storm damage gawker is currently in luck. A group of people who drive from town to town clogging up roads and blocking emergency personnel in order to take pictures and view storm damage is now accepting new entrants.

The group call themselves “The Damage Caravan” and their main objectives are threefold. First, enter areas heavily damaged by severe weather, bypassing all closed off areas. Second, block main entry ways and exit ways for emergency vehicles. Third, stare at other people’s misfortune and act like they’ve never seen such devastation before in their life.

The group stated that after their three objectives are achieved they post pictures online with little regard to privacy and courtesy to people affected by the storms.

“We like to be the first ones in there, posting pictures and just being involved in things we shouldn’t be.” Stated Tom Vibtin, local chapter head.

“Basically we are the gossips, everyone wants to see those pictures of devastation and we want to be the first to take photos at any cost necessary.” Tom concluded.

To apply for membership a minimum six years of douchebag experience is required as well as a valid or expired drivers license.

The Cob wishes all applicants the best in their endeavors to become miserable human beings.

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