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Local Dad Forgets To Move Elf On Shelf, Almost Ruins Christmas

November 25th, 2016

Chicago, IL – A Chicago father narrowly avoided a disaster last week after he forgot to move the Elf on the Shelf and his children questioned the existence of Santa Clause.

Reports came in last week about a child who had discovered the novelty toy hadn’t moved the night before as is tradition during the weeks leading up to Christmas.

Upon seeing the figure hadn’t moved, Douglas Smith, 4 years old, informed his siblings who quickly began to question everything they were ever told by their parents.

“This Elf on the Shelf thing has consumed my life. Every moment I have I am trying to figure out where to put that stupid elf next. I can’t sleep, I can’t think, it’s a nightmare.” Stated Sam Smith, the father who failed his kids.

“I’ve considered making the elf go bye-bye, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to it yet. The garbage disposal came to mind last week. Don’t judge me!” Sam yelled as he ended the interview with The Cob.

As parents continue the dive into madness, stores across the country continue to sell the wildly popular toy deemed evil by parents of children all ages.

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