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Picture of Ark

Local Man Building Ark Just In Case It Doesn’t Stop Raining

August 31st, 2016

KANGLEY, ILLINOIS – With little signs of dry weather ahead, a local Kangley man has taken steps to ensure he survives in the event the rain never ceases.

Local resident Brian Clark started laying the base for a mega-sized boat-ark late last week when rain and storms did not subside and the future looked grim for people of the Illinois Valley.

“I felt that after it rained for close to a week straight, that I should get things in order and start to build for the inevitable destruction of the world by water.” Stated Clark.

“I’ve started laying the base for the ark and I’m currently working on rounding up animals. So far I have my dog, a cat, a squirrel and a cricket. Things are moving slower than I hoped.” Brian continued.

Locals took to social media to mock Mr. Clark earlier in the week, calling his endeavours, “Dumb!”, “#Crazy” and “Kind of interesting, what else do I have going on right now. This is the Illinois Valley after all.”

Brian says he’ll have the last laugh in the end. “When everyone else is stuck in flooded corn fields, I’ll be cruising on my luxury ark. Petting my pet tiger and eating exotic fruit.”

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