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Ottawa Cancels Flu Shots to Help Booming Pharmacy Business

August 3rd, 2016

OTTAWA, IL – On the heels of the recent announcement of an eighth pharmacy coming to the area, the LaSalle County Health Department has advised physicians and medical facilities in Ottawa to cease giving flu shots this coming year.

National pharmacy chain CVS Pharmacy is rumored to be eyeing a move into Ottawa’s north-side. CVS will push the total pharmacy count to eight amid growing fears that the local economy may collapse under the weight of so many pharmacies.

“The bottom line is we need more sick people to support these businesses.” Elaborated an Ottawa City Council Member.

“We needed to take steps to keep people sick this upcoming year. Our plan includes chicken pox parties, anti-hand washing signs and a campaign to stop people from covering their coughs.” Continued the Council Member.

Local officials also advised residents to bring all their medication in to dispose of before cold and flu season hits.

“We are really excited about the possibility of moving into an area teaming with germs and sick people. It will be good for business.” Stated a CVS Representative.

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