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“Someone Told Us That Politicians Get To Steal Things”

January 10th, 2017

PERU, IL – State Rep.-elect Jerry Long’s wife, Patricia Long, was arrested over the weekend after the Peru police department forgot that politicians get to steal things.

“It was a simple mistake on their end.” Jerry stated Monday.

“Once elected, politicians can take any item smaller than $20. It’s pretty much a known rule. Peru police were not aware of it. I do not fault them for it.” Jerry continued.

As of Tuesday morning the Peru police department has apologized for the mistake, promising to allow the Long family to take whatever they want in the city of Peru moving forward.

“I don’t think we will be coming back to Kohl’s though. Maybe we’ll stick to Target and Big Lots they let us do whatever.” Jerry concluded.

The Cob discovered that a little-known law exists in Illinois that lets politicians do pretty much whatever they want. So if you see a politician stealing, just ignore it, it’s not a crime.

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