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flaming truck

Mediacom Brings New Smokin’ Fast Internet Speeds To Ottawa

May 17th, 2018
Cable
Fire
News

OTTAWA, IL – If you were looking for faster internet in the Illinois Valley, you are in luck with Mediacom’s new Flaming Hot Truck Package. New and proprietary technology now enables the cable giant, Mediacom, to set their trucks on fire in residential neighborhoods and in return inject power into the cable lines thus increasing […]


Log Fire Ottawa

Middle Aged Functioning Alcoholics Flock To Still Smoldering Wood Fire Outside Ottawa For A Saturday Night Party

May 13th, 2018
Fire
News
Weather

OTTAWA, IL – With nothing much to do and the bonfire logs drawing down at home, Sam Sturner (41) of Ottawa and his buddies decided to head to the southside and take advantage of the still burning woodpile near 4H road for a Saturday night bonfire. “The fire was still going so we packed up […]


Peru Mall Fire

Peru Mall Fire! “The Most Exciting Thing To Happen Here Since the 80’s”

May 7th, 2018
Fire
News
Peru Mall

PERU, IL – Awaken from his slumber of over 30 years, a Peru Mall security guard told The Cob that a small fire that started in middle of mall Sunday was the “most exciting thing that has happened here in decades.” “Life has been slow here.” John Bunnan, spoke to The Cob reporters Sunday afternoon. […]