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Weather Man Leaves 10% Chance Of Everything In Forecasts

September 20th, 2016

ILLINOIS – Illinois weather is about as predictable as a horse race in the rain, with the odds often not in the weather forecasters favor. That is why local weather man, Jake Delmar of the Quad Cities always leaves a 10% chance of every type of weather in his forecasts.

“If there’s a chance, I can never be wrong.” Jake stated Monday afternoon after predicted storms out of Iowa failed to develop.

“There’s a 10% chance today of a tornado, earthquake, meteorite strike and brush fire. It’s in my forecast so people need to be prepared.” He continued.

“People always blame the weather forecasters when things don’t go right. I’m saying, no, it’s not my fault that nature doesn’t cooperate with my forecast, it’s your fault. You’re not prepared.”

Tsunamis, avalanches, and plagues of locusts, often line Mr. Delmar’s forecasts day in and day out.

When questioned about the probability of such absurd events happening in Illinois. Jake simply replied, “10%!”

Though he might never be right, he will never be wrong and The Cob applauds his efforts to keep Illinoisans aware of the weather.

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