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Candidates to Face Off in Epic Rap Battle

August 16th, 2016
Rap Battle

OTTAWA, IL – The Ottawa Area Chamber of Commerce will stage a legislative rap battle from 8pm to 9pm Tuesday, Sept. 13, at Central Intermediate School, 711 E. McKinley Road. Cookies and punch will follow the event.

With political tensions never being higher, Illinois State legislative candidates believe they can settle their differences by throwing down the sickest rhymes and beats during Tuesday’s event.

The nights activities will commence with Jerry “Jay-Z” Long taking on opponent Andy “Big D” Skoog in an exclusive, “Yo Momma” only insult battle. The rap battle will then transition into freestyle and group “pass the mic” events.

The main event continues with a speed round, starting at 8:30pm, featuring Sue “Mad Beats” Rezin and Chris “Busta” Benson, in what is sure to be a rap battle royal for the ages.

The night concludes with a final battle that determines who will be placed on the ballot come November. Candidates have agreed to honor the outcome and uphold the strict moral code of rap battle ethics. Losers will suspend their campaigns as the winners take their rap skills to Springfield.

As rap battles continue to spread across the political landscape, many Americans wonder if they will see Donald “Dizzy” Trump and Hillary “Gold Chainz” Clinton face off at the national level.

Here’s to hoping so.

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