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Donald Trump Suing Trump University

August 3rd, 2016

New York, NY – Apparently unaware that he owned the now defunct real-estate seminar company, Trump University, Donald Trump announced Tuesday that he will be suing himself.

“I first enrolled in Trump University thinking I could meet the creator and billionaire behind the program. It was gonna be huge! His last name was Trump. What are the odds? Anyone named Trump is a winner. I’m always winning.” Stated the 70-year-old presidential hopeful.

“Giving back, learning, sacrificing for the American people is what I do. Taking a 2-hour seminar was the least I could do to make myself great again.” Continued the Donald.

“Then I found out the brilliant mind and creator Mr. Trump wasn’t going to make it. What a horrible company to do that. They said he was at a seminar about real-estate. You’d have to be a loser to skip your real-estate seminar to go to another real-estate seminar. Classless.” Concluded Donald.

The Cob has learned that litigation is pending in the case, with a scheduled hearing in September. When this bizarre case is presented before a judge, the line-up will be Donald Trump v Donald Trump.

The legal battle is sure to be interesting with the plaintiff and defendant both declaring a huge win before their respective dates in court.

As for his next move Trump declared, “My eyes are on Trump Steaks, what a horrible idea, they deserve to be sued.”

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