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Groundhog looking nervous

Groundhog Prediction In Question After Punxsutawney Phil Busted For Doping

February 2nd, 2017

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PENNSYLVANIA – After a near perfect prediction of six more weeks of winter, Punxsutawney Phil, America’s favorite groundhog was caught injecting steroids into his left hog thigh late Thursday morning.

“He seemed a little more feisty today.” Phil’s handler told The Cob, “But I would have never guessed he uses performance-enhancing drugs.”

By Thursday afternoon event organizers were scrambling to find a replacement rodent or animal to confirm Phil’s first prediction, amid fears that Phil would be seen as a cheater.

As Thursday evening rolled around Phil himself released a statement concerning the alleged substance abuse.

“My life has been a culmination of training and hard work, all leading up to this event. In my attempts to be a better predictor, I brought shame upon my family and myself. This has been a regretful day.” Stated the furry Groundhog.

As far as the prediction, most weathermen say he has a 50/50 shot at being correct.

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