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Local Creep Upset Clowns Are Ruining His Creeping Ability

October 5th, 2016

UNITED STATES – With clown related hysteria sweeping the nation, creeps from across the nation are calling foul at people entering the business of being creepy.

Whether it is a long stair from behind a grocery store display or a shadowed walk down a dark ally, local creeps are arguing that the years spent practicing their talents are now going to waste.

“People think it is easy being a creep. It isn’t it takes years of practice. And for someone to come along and put on a clown mask and stand in a dark area is just absurd.” Stated a local self-proclaimed creep, Jack Tarmon, 43.

“I’ll hand it to them, though. They are getting the job done. This media attention is great for creeps like myself. I just wish they did it in a traditional way.” Jack continued.

“I have perfected the tan jacket, greased hair and hands in pocket look. That was the classic look. I hope that creeps can return to these roots and put away masks.” Jack concluded.

As a nation reels from clown sightings, a group of creeps silently wait for the time when they can once again become the creeping powerhouse they once were.

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