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White Claw Robbery

Ottawa Robbery Suspects Steal White Claws Leave Everything Else

September 17th, 2019
White Claw

OTTAWA, IL – After news of a nationwide shortage of White Claws hit LaSalle County this month, desperate white-bois have begun robbing houses in hopes of finding the addictive fizzy drank.

“We are seeing an increase of white males that wear Oakley Sunglasses and their hats backward, robbing homes in desperation for White Claws.” A local Cop told The Cob.

“In this case they took the case of The Claw and ran off, leaving everything else intact.” He continued.

“We’ve also seen an uptick in young women, desperate for selfies with their White Claws, breaking into residences to get the party pic they need to share on social media. It’s an epidemic that we hope stops soon.” The Police Rep concluded.

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