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Vodka and Tylenol

Parents Shocked to See Tylenol, Vodka & Earplugs on Back-to-School List

August 5th, 2019

ILLINOIS VALLEY, IL – As the start of school approaches and parents scramble to get all the supplies ready for their precious little hellions return to school, concerns are being raised over new requirements for back-to-school purchases.

Lists have gone out to parents that include pain killers, alcohol, and even ear plugs for teachers.

“You might think this is a joke, but no our teachers really do need these things. Kids having 3 months off and snorting sugar all summer? No, they need these items.” Nick Notter, a local Superintendent told The Cob.

“I take a shot of the vodka, pop some Tylenol, and throw in my earplugs and I’m ready for day one.” A local teacher told The Cob in private.

Back-to-school lists can be found at your liquor, gas or big box store.

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