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White Claw Robbery

Ottawa Robbery Suspects Steal White Claws Leave Everything Else

September 17th, 2019
White Claw

OTTAWA, IL – After news of a nationwide shortage of White Claws hit LaSalle County this month, desperate white-bois have begun robbing houses in hopes of finding the addictive fizzy drank. “We are seeing an increase of white males that wear Oakley Sunglasses and their hats backward, robbing homes in desperation for White Claws.” A […]

White Claw Cae

White Claw Festival Coming to Ottawa this Fall

August 26th, 2019
White Claw

OTTAWA, IL – In keeping with the current trend of beer, wine, and music in the park festivals, Ottawa is inviting residents to the 1st Annual, “White Claw Fall Festival” this October. Attendees will be able to enjoy a raging DJ while relaxing in hot tubs brought into the Jordan block for the event. Attendees […]