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Bears Soldier Field

Wall Being Built Around Soldier Field To Keep Packer Fans Out, Wisconsin To Pay For It

September 1st, 2019

CHICAGO, IL – A temporary wall is being built around Soldier field with the hopes of keeping Green Bay fans out of Thursday’s game. Bears’ ownership has stated that the State of Wisconsin will pay for it.

“They come to town, wearing that hideous green and yellow, smelling of cheese and stale farts. We really don’t want them in Chicago or at our hallowed Soldier Field.” A rep told The Cob, on condition of anonymity.

“The wall doesn’t have to be that high, 4 feet is fine.” The rep continued. “They are all too fat and weighed down by cheddar to even climb that high.”

“The other option is if they want to enter they have to take off their Packer colors and say, Praise be to Ditka, in thy Sweetness name, Amen. Then they can enter.”

Look for the wall to be completed by Thursday’s game.

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